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Welcome to this month's edition of the Lawyers Stink Email Newsletter. This month we're going to deal with a lawyer's favorite color and favorite area of the law, both of which are gray. In today's sue or be sued society, does anyone really need a genuine grievance in order to file a lawsuit anymore? Have you been paying any attention at all? The answer is “Of course not!” Any contrived or fabricated set of circumstances will do quite nicely, thank you. When it comes to dancing in the gray areas, lawyers have few, if any, peers (or moral fiber for that matter). Lawyers have traditionally ranked near the bottom, if not at the very bottom, of the occupational esteem ladder. People have little use for lawyers, unless of course they require a lawyer to sue the pants off of someone else. Lawyers didn’t obtain this dubious distinction by happenstance or the luck of the draw. No, they got it the old fashioned way - they earned it. To hear lawyers tell, they will quickly attempt to dispense such notions as hearsay and innuendo. Oh sure, they will tell anyone who listens that there may be a bad apple here or there who on occasion steps over the line, but by and large lawyers are consummate professionals who conduct themselves in accordance with their strict set of rules governing their professional conduct. Lawyers learn early on that there is a fine line between distorting the truth and outright lying and that there is a ton of money to be made walking that fine line. Lawyers love to dance in the gray areas precisely because they are lawyers. Lawyers, by the nature of their training, have a long history of stretching the truth to the point that it no longer remotely resembles anything close to the truth. In the legal arena, black and white or right and wrong are fairly nebulous concepts. The lawyer’s legal opinion rendered to the client in large measure is closely dependent upon who is writing the check and the size of the check. An enterprising lawyer, inspired by the prospects of garnering a sizable fee, can make a case out of just about anything. Few lawyers would stipulate that one needs a cut and dried set of circumstances as a prerequisite for filing a lawsuit against another party. Just like in the game of horseshoes, if you’re close enough - you may be a winner! The more hazy or vague the potential lawsuit may be, the more invaluable the services of the shady lawyer becomes. When you look at the staggering number of the crackpot and wacko lawsuits filed by lawyers all across America every single day, you cannot help but ask yourself, “Have they no shame at all?” That’s an easy one - no they don’t. Not at all. The low life lawyers and their equally low life clientele reason that if they hammer enough people with enough lawsuits, a goodly number of the defendants will cave and toss them some settlement offers. Sadly, they’re right on the money right there. These lawsuits, although they often border on the insanely ridiculous, are many times settled in lieu of the party being sued incurring the ensuing costs associated with impending litigation. Lawyers love this mess. The more hazy, muddy or cloudy the area of law they are manipulating for their own greedy good, the better they like it. Gray is a lawyer’s favorite color right behind green (as in cold, hard cash). Black or white? Forget about it. Lawyers love gray – any shade you pick. As always, here's wishing you a lawyer free day! This month's Lawyers Stink Email Newsletter is an excerpt taken from It’s Time to Wake Up and Smell the Lawyers. If you haven’t read our highly acclaimed book, you’re missing out on a load of information about America’s legal system – and a load of laughs as well.
You can also read other excerpts taken from the book by clicking book chapter summaries here or, if you like, you can pick up your copy by clicking BUY BOOK ONLINE. And while you’re at in, why not take a few moments and check out our growing collection of Funny Lawyer Quotes, Jokes and Cartoons? Hopefully you'll take a few minutes and peruse our extensive listing of stupid lawsuits by clicking Stupid Lawsuits and Other Funny Stuff. I'm sure you will agree that these stupid lawsuits could probably be classified in the following categories: the bad, the worse and you've got to be kidding me. You can sign up for our FREE newsletter by clicking subscribe in the box on the left hand side of this page. Please tell your friends, relatives and business associates about our Lawyers Stink E-mail Newsletter. They can subscribe at our web site: http://www.power-of-attorneys.com (of course you can e-mail this newsletter to them!). If you would like to review past issues of our Lawyers Stink E-mail Newsletter, simply click view back issues of our newsletter. Thanks for reading this issue of the Lawyers Stink Email Newsletter and we’ll see you next month. As always, we welcome your comments and suggestions about our newsletter.
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