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I’d like to extend a hardy welcome to as we bring you month’s Lawyers
Stink E-mail Newsletter. Today’s subject, which centers around the seedy,
slimy and sleazy world of seedy, slimy and sleazy divorce lawyers, is sure
to hit a nerve with some of you out there. In order to keep things as
light as possible, we’re going to toss in a hefty dose of divorce jokes.
As a matter of fact, let’s throw out a couple of divorce jokes right up
front to get the ball rolling. Here goes. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx. Divorces are all too common in America. While some European countries have even greater incidences of divorce, America still checks in with a 46% divorce rate. That’s right, about half of American marriages end up in divorce. Now that’s a lot of business for divorce lawyers to divvy up. Divorce knows no season and there’s no sign that divorce rates are going anywhere but up. Divorce is always doubly difficult on the individuals involved, since the combatants must deal with lawyers and feelings - both at the same time. No one is better than getting people ready to duke it out against each other better than lawyers - and divorce lawyers are the very best at working up a great deal of animosity between the parties. A: Because they are worth it. Marriage is grand - and divorce is about ten grand. In reality, the primary reason that divorces are so expensive is because lawyers are involved. Name one thing that has a lawyer hanging around, let alone two, that is less expensive due to the lawyer’s involvement. You’re not able to do so, are you? Why? Because when lawyers get involved, the costs shoot off the charts. Carving up the pie while they’re carving up the opposing spouse is the name of the divorce lawyer’s game. It has been said that a divorce lawyer is a lawyer that helps you get what’s coming to him. Divorce lawyers didn’t get the seedy reputation they have by playing nice. No, when you’re talking about getting down and dirty, lawyers are as dirty as they come. Tearing the other party to shreds is just another day at the office for divorce lawyers. Then there was the woman who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.” It has been said that man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. “She was a great housekeeper,” said a recent divorcee. “When we divorced, she kept the house.” A guy walks into a post office one day to see a very well dressed, middle aged, balding man standing at the counter sealing a huge stack of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. With his curiosity getting the better of him, the guy goes over to the man and asks him what is he doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” “But why would you do that?” “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replied. What is the point of our newsletter this month? For starters, it gave us the opportunity to make fun of lawyers. And when you think about it, that’s reason enough. If you like jokes about lawyers, click Funny Lawyer Quotes, Jokes and Cartoons or Lawyer Joke of the Day and you’ll be treated to some of the funniest lawyer jokes around. And if you have a funny lawyer joke, you can contribute it to our ever growing list of lawyer jokes by clicking The Lawyer Joke Exchange.
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